It is easier to handle being alone because there is no one else about then to be alone even though you are surrounded by many people. I came to this conclusion long ago. Growing up it seemed that the only time I wasn't on the outside looking in, was when there was no one else around. I found my self becoming increasingly more solitary because it was less painful then being around others. I went off by myself to hide, to grieve, or to protect myself.
Thankfully over time this all changed. Somewhere along the line I made peace with myself. Once this occurred my whole life changed. I was surprised how it became easier to be around other people, and yet I still seek out and even look forward to those times of complete solitude.(And I am not talking about being away from people but surrounded by distractions. I don't need to be occupied with books, music, TV, computers, movies etc... I love to sit alone in a quite room and meditate, communicate with my God, and delve into the recesses of my mind and imagination.)
Why? Because it is during these times, that I can regain my center. It is at these times when I find that I come to greater understanding of myself, my God, and creation. It is at these times when I am filled with peace, strength, guidance, and love. Then I go and return to the outside world ready to love, serve, and live.
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